Dating and Love in Addiction Recovery
While there are some recovery and addiction centers that suggest not making any significant changes in your life for about a year after the process or while you’re going through addiction treatment, there are some tips that you can follow to find someone to love. At times, it might seem difficult to find someone to talk to or date who is encouraging or who has the same desires that you have. Many people desire to have some kind of companionship after recovery so that they aren’t alone.
If you enjoy being around people and want to try to start over with your life while finding someone to date, especially with Valentine’s Day is coming up, you may have already considered talking with someone in a recovery meeting or community. You can offer support to each other while finding things that you have in common. This is sometimes the first step in dating sober as you should talk to people who have the same priorities. Finding love in addiction recovery is possible and can be amazing should you remain cautious about staying the course in your recovery.
Stay Strong And Live Strong
You’ve probably lost a lot while being addicted and during the recovery process, so finding love in recovery might be something you desire because you want to have hope for a better life. It’s important to stay away from the relationships that will tempt you to drink or use the drugs that you used that led to your addiction. These relationships while dating sober are not healthy and can possibly reverse the recovery that you’ve been through. Any time that you begin dating offers risks. You’re revealing personal information to get to know someone who could potentially be a future spouse. You need to reveal information in a safe manner, avoiding the urge to divulge significant details until you’re comfortable with the other person. However, you’re going to need to talk about finding love in addiction recovery and the process that you’ve been through so that the other person can be the support system you need. Don’t force the process of getting to know someone. Take the time to learn what someone likes and what that person dislikes, paying attention to what that person does in spare time as this could give an indication as to whether that person would drink or do drugs in the future.
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Ditch The Hormones
There are chemicals released in the brain when you’re around the opposite sex. It’s nature, and it’s something that you can’t really avoid, especially if you’re attracted to someone. However, don’t let these chemicals overtake your clear judgment. As you continue to live in your recovery, it will be easy to enter into a relationship because you want to be around other people. Most therapists, counselors, and staff at the recovery center will usually tell you to avoid dating for about a year because a new relationship can sometimes take the focus away from your recovery. However, feelings do develop when you least expect it, and those feelings could develop in a short time. It’s sometimes tempting to replace the high that you get from drinking and drugs with a new romance, but you need to keep in mind that you want to be a success instead of succumbing to lust.
Be Who You Desire
Become the partner that you’re looking for in someone else. Most people don’t want a relationship with someone who drinks or does drugs. These thoughts can help you maintain your recovery path so that you don’t offer someone else a person who is involved in these activities. Think about what you’re looking for in a partner, challenging yourself to look for those same qualities in another. These qualities could be shared hobbies, a loving and caring nature or the willingness to be a positive influence in your life. When you begin dating, be honest about the person you are instead of hiding behind any shame that you feel.
Finding Hope in Recovery
Whether you are just beginning your recovery journey, or have a few months or years under your belt, you are not alone in wanting the love, support and companionship of a partner. Instead of rushing things, it may be more beneficial to seek the support of your family and make amends in the beginning, so you can be strong in your recovery.
- Valenti Matchmaking: https://www.valentimatchmaking.com/2015/03/02/10-tips-perfect-companionship-companionship-vs-relationship/
- We Connect Health Management: https://www.weconnectrecovery.com/free-online-support-meetings
- GQ: https://www.gq.com/story/sober-dating
- Glamour: https://www.glamour.com/story/things-you-learn-from-sober-dating
- Hope Grows: https://hopegrows.net/news/why-is-hope-so-important
- The New York Times: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/29/fashion/weddings/finding-love-without-alcohol.html
- Cosmopolitan: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a25727626/sober-dating-apps/
- Lifehack: https://www.lifehack.org/articles/money/this-list-50-low-cost-hobbies-will-excite-you-2.html
- Good Therapy: https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/shame
- SW Helper: https://swhelper.org/2018/09/15/7-tips-for-staying-strong-during-your-recovery-from-addiction/